reflect n refract.
Yellos! The Mockery is over.
Not too glad for I know I have a lot to catch up and yeah, like David said.. 14 papers down, 28 more to go (Prelim & O’s) but like Mr Liang said, get a short break.
I need a breather.
I realised that Secondary 4 exams are extremely long, tiring, crapping the crap outta ya and the chapters only get tougher (except for Organic/Macro which is the only thing that cultivates my love for Chem) We played ‘Tikam’ today, for Chemistry paper 1. Sigh, but at least I attempted my best till the very end that I can be..proud of? I guess, I do admire people who never say die.. and I am not going admit defeat until O level is over - so that I can admire myself :) Sleeping for 4 hours a day is really a tedious feat.
The girls just left my place not too long ago and bumped into Jessica and Jeslyn at the interchange while sending them off.. and last night I thought, how great would it be to repeat secondary school life all over again. I must admit that it hasn’t been all that bad..there were many good times, it is only human nature we keep complaining and forget to appreciate the wonderful things around us. It might be a little late, but better than never. To speak of it..something I never want to admit, I do love school. More so after Victoria mentioned about all the excitement of being a part of Kuo Chuan, even some may not have been pleasant like holding hands for last year’s National Day but through it all, I am still thankful.
Did I mention that we had an ultra unproductive time at my place eating and slacking? So we did.. hehee.. finally got to eat shaker fries!
Hmmmmmmmmm.. and finally kept myself updated in the cyberworld. Spam reading blogs, could be my most enjoyable hobby ever! I was reading someone’s blog about yhope and church, how she left and went back and everything that seemed oh-so-familiar yet foreign to me. Religion’s been quite a topic I want to escape from frankly and I already can foresee silly posting a comment on this post, haha. Sometimes I find everything very superficial and very stereotyped…I mean the people and over holiness really irks me, when people try way too hard speaking of all goodness and their actions prove otherwise. Perhaps it’s just because I am in a missionary school that’s why it’s bad and that’s why it’s probably harder to pioneer the school even though yhope has proven genuine friendship in my life and in fact at the best it can ever offer like silly is really godsent. But aside from people as my point, it’s hard to put down your pride.. and change your lifestyle for something that is not definite. I do believe but I’ve come to figure that believing and committing is different altogether. I want my freedom, my family, my friends and I know I cannot achieve everything altogether. Being in yhope takes up like 65% of my time awake. It’s not that I am never intending to return, but not at this point of time when I think I am not mature enough to sort out my thoughts properly. Yes, so much for being known to have deep thoughts.. I can only conclude that I am not ready.
People just brings about disappointment, including me.. guess the above passage sounds a bit disappointing for certain people who are especially concerned about me in that aspect. Although life’s been treating me pretty well..still some other things that bother me. Like I really don’t know it’s obvious or what that we’re drifting so far apart n from the start till the end.. I wonder if I mean as much as you mean to me. Sigh but it isn’t your fault.
I wonder what’s wrong with me. I feel like typing a freaking long essay on friendship but I think I am such a lousy friend I don’t know how to go about starting. Huisze’s buddy is here! Woo hoo!!!!!! Time flies, exactly a year ago I was at her house in Korea and her parents sent us to the jimjilbang. I hope my 2 buddies will visit again..cos Suncheon is such an ulu area. I hope H1N1 makes our school drag the korea trip till late november so I can go.. and miss Grad Night at the same time. Yes but for now I need to go on serious diet. FATS!!!! ugh!!
