Mine

my.opera.com/stellatan

why us.

Foolish heart looks like we’re here again
Same old game of plastic smile
Don’t let anybody in
Hiding my heartache, will this glass house break
How much will they take before I’m empty
Do I let it show, does anybody know?
But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I’m loosening my grasp
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

—-

This week hasn’t been easy on everyone.. there are so much I want to say but I can’t. But I am truly grateful towards those who lent a listening ear, a helping hand, a few constructive comments and those who spreaded some love during this period. It’s going to go on I believe, which sucks big time. :| Anyhow, please just study real hard for prelim!

Happy birthday Solhee!
Happy birthday Jodi!
Happy birthday Yasmine!
Happy birthday Yinghui!

Okay done. I am freaking amazed and please be amazed too.. I got 48/50 for SS! Like totally INSANE! I was shocked to no end. I suddenly feel a breeze of smartness.. unless someone tells me that Sonja got full marks. And I passed higher chinese paper two with eight “good” in chinese which is another insane act cos I thought I was going to fail. I got all correct except one question for the first page of answers sheet and Mdm Wang went saying how much I’ve improve yadayadayadaaa.. I’m as happy as a lark! Except that math is stupidly pulling me down like mad. I hope Geog paper 2 wasn’t bad :/

Everything’s getting so complicated.. mad crap. I derived that probably if you are down on friendship, you’d do well academically. Haha just my one cent not worth. Hmmmmmmm…

Sweet sixteen!

Happy birthday Lee Wanyee!

Before I start.. everything today is KUDOS TO VICTORIA MY TWIN!!!! for all the ideas and everything. :)

We succeeded in surprising again! Yay! And I realised our birthday months are like consecutive? Vic’s late June..let’s count it as July, Wanyee’s August, mine’s September and Michelle’s October. What joy :)

So today we had a mini celebration with cutie cup cakes Michelle and I bought last evening with our fresh milk tea on hand. After school, we went square2 for crepes again. Fed Wanyee with weird food like spicy squid (Vic just randomly bought it), her favourite watermelon and pickle sushi which she surprisingly like. I won’t be surprised if they make me drink like syrup on my birthday cos I really hate sugary sweet stuffs. I wish the 3 smart people well in surprising me cos Victoria’s was just so obvious only that she’s slow! HAHA I am so looking forward to my birthday even though prelims come first! Stacia joined us cos she wanted to look for Huisze’s shoe bag which she had lost in Novena yesterday but failed terribly. Then she kept saying that Koreans are expensive, lol. After square2 for crepes, Xueying left and we went United Square. On our way there we paid the busker to sing like Happy birthday to Wanyee. They were really sweet and nice.. hahah I’m trying to upload the piccas on Facebook. The videos are like!! LOL. We blindfolded Wanyee for 70% of the time and she was so obedient.. we made her sit outside the kid school alone and everyone was starring at her. A kid asked her parents, “What is this jiejie doing here?” Frankly, we were only less than 50m away. We also made her sit on this kiddy ride which we actually wanted to choose the Bob the Builder ride but we figured out she can’t possibly fit into it. Haha! Hope you had fun Wanyee!

I had fun but I am absolutely beat.
Prelims start on 2nd September, ouch.. I have yet to even see the ghost of Priscilla Chong? MISS YOU! And I saw Andrea today! M1 rocks..for Andrea and I have free unlimited calls to each other! SHOWER NOW! Sol Hee is leaving tomorrow :/

Real not reel.

Sanity exploded.

C for emath again, damn. Miss Yeo was telling me that I only have one math :( But it beats others who fail emath and amath at the same time. I am going to work harder like really. For chemistry too. Sigh, 10 points.

I was nearly drove insane today. I was forced to talk to someone I really didn’t want to. But in the end, it seems like no one can force me to do something I don’t want to. It made me believe even more that your life is very much dependent on choices and decisions you make. Your future is determined by the crossroads you take right now so I don’t want to make decisions I’ll regret. My principle of life is very simple, to try my best not regret anything that I do and to make life sweet rather than bitter for myself. I can’t bring myself to talk to people I dislike, sorry.. the fact is, if like I really don’t like someone I won’t even be able to look at the person in the eye. I am quite lousy I know but I don’t want my life to be like a drama, to force myself to do something I don’t want, to act like I like someone I don’t. I don’t want my life to be like that. I don’t need a lot of acquaintances, I just need a few genuine good friends. Actually I am comfortable as things are right now.. :)

The incident today made me ponder a lot more than I usually do. I would like to send a really sincere apology to that person but I hope you understand that there are things in life you can’t force it. I can get over some things like in a matter of just hours but sometimes I need slightly longer window period… if I talk to you today, it wouldn’t be from my heart and I will feel guilty about it. Had you known that it was not sincere, even if we made up, it would just be so fake and hypocritical. So I’m sorry anyway.

Sometimes I just think too much but that’s the only thing keeps my brain active. Singapore’s education is too rigid.